September 11th as a Student

By Luci Farrell

Hello Dear Readers!

Welcome back to another year of Cougar Diaries! I do hope all of you had a good summer and are adjusting to the change of being back to school. I know the transition was better than usual for me. After all, who doesn’t like being able to sleep until 8 instead of waking up between 6 and 7 at the sounds of small children and lawnmowers? Now I wake up early, roll out of bed, and turn on music or the TV for background noise, as I am getting ready. Call it my reflection time.

On the topic of reflection, this past Sunday celebrated the 10th anniversary of the September 11th tragedy. This topic is a subject that is close to me, both figuratively and literally. Hailing from New Haven, Connecticut, New York has always been a regular trip for me. Growing up almost all of school trips were taken to New York or Massachusetts, as both are short trips away. Taking the train to school for my four years in high school I can tell you the train from downtown New Haven to Grand Central Station in New York, with all the stops, takes 90 minutes. Keep in mind that’s if you’re not on an express and I know Amtrak is even faster. On a lucky day you can make it to the city in 45 minutes driving. Because of the proximity to the city many people from Connecticut, including my own town of New Haven, work in New York City.

Ten years ago I was sitting in a classroom with kids I’d known since kindergarten. Our 6th grade teacher still hadn’t been in class as she was still out on maternity leave and our Principal was substituting for the time being. The 7th graders were watching TV as they were doing a project that involved watching CNN. We were the first two classes to find out. To say there was a wave of silence was an understatement. Our school was Pre-K through 8th grade. The top floor of the school held the 5th through 8th grade and the lower level held the younger children. The ‘upper classmen’ were brought into the library and were told what was going on. That’s when you saw faces contort. Who’s parents or grandparents work by the towers? Were they okay? Then there was a quiet noise from a girl in my class when we found out about the planes. Her grandparents had gone to Boston to fly out to LA early that morning. No one spoke. What were you going to say? A few of us tried to lighten the mood and get people’s thoughts off what was happening. After having another student screaming at me, and try to hit me, for trying to get a crying girl to laugh I had had enough. My defense against bad things is to try to find humor to keep calm. After all, what good will panicking do? In WWII the British had a campaign that has regained popularity in the past few years; Keep Calm and Carry On. That’s what we need to remember.

Ten years after seeing chaos so close to home, I look back and think how it has influenced me. December of 2001 was the first time since the attack I was back in the city. Walking the area of Ground Zero is a feeling that a person cannot put into words. There isn’t a particular emotion you can associate with it. It isn’t a pure sadness, it isn’t anger, but it isn’t numbness. You think about the people who died doing their job and you cannot help but wonder what they were thinking that morning. Did any of them reflect on a wonderful weekend? Did anyone wish they had done something exciting right after college instead of going right into work? What were their hopes, dreams, and regrets? Experience life. Live not just to what you were given, but work to live beyond what you’ve known. Never limit yourself.

Out of my eighth grade graduating class, two of us left the New England area. My good friend ended up in California. She had grown up in New Jersey, moved to Connecticut, and decided she needed a change. I was born and raised in New Haven. I chose a high school that none of my friends went to and chose a university where no one would know me. Having the opportunity to start over and see things from a different perspective was what I wanted.

I think back and imagine 6th grade me watching the news when I arrived home, unable to look away. 8th grade me was ready to start over in high school, slowly planning my life out. As a high school senior I decided I was leaving. I applied to eight universities and was waitlisted to only one of the eight. The one where I was waitlisted? That was the only school I applied to in Connecticut. I knew I wouldn’t get in there, so I call it my own little insurance policy. Sneaky right? I look back on all of this and laugh. Moving a bit under 900 miles from home, I have found what I needed. I started new and in my fourth year out here I realized I found what I needed when I came to Chicago. I found a new music scene, a major that I enjoy, new scenery, and experienced many things I wouldn’t have back home. Most importantly, I found people who mean something. We always talk about the friends we made, but I add to that the ‘friends’ I lost. Regardless of how you view them now, they impacted you. Take every bad experience and remember the good moments. Cherish the people who stayed by you, even when you didn’t think you deserved it. Hold those people close and even if you leave from that place never forget them and how much they mean to you at this very moment.

Take some time and reflect. Think about what you want to do, not just years down the road, but tomorrow. Never forget the small things that make your day. A text message, a hug, or a Starbucks coffee. Enjoy yourself. Until next time dear bloggers…

Keep Calm and Carry On
Luci Farrell

Luci Farrell is a senior from New Haven, CT. She is an Organizational Communication major with a minor in Anthropology. Luci is a Resident Peer Minister on campus and chair of the Honors Program Advisory Council at Saint Xavier University.