Finding and Embracing Flaws

By Luci Farrell

Hello dear bloggers. We’ve come to that time again. A new semester has begun. With that new semester, we also enter the New Year. Fireworks, tears, and countless New Year’s resolutions made after reflecting on ourselves. This is one of those times where we start looking at our flaws and head out to correct them.

We no longer ask, “What are my strengths?” Instead we look at a question that many times can be much more interesting.
“What are my flaws?”

We can learn so much about ourselves when we finally own up to our flaws. We all have flaws; it’s part of being human. Flaws make us who we are and, for some reason or another, sometimes you fall in love with a flaw.

I am no different. I happen to be as flawed as they come. I can write a list of flaws and then find out several other things that people either find irritating or endearing about me. It’s always funny how often those two qualities go hand in hand. Here is a list, for the sake of my little explanation on why flaws are important, however, I will keep the list short.

Luci’s Flaws 101
1. Stubborn. I will be the first to admit that I can be as stubborn as they come. I am hardheaded, take a stand, and won’t budge from a belief I hold close. My mother lovingly refers to it as being bullheaded. On the flip side, I know when to admit that I am wrong. I also know when to tell you when you’re wrong. So a flaw in a way, but a strong personality trait that others like on the flip side.
2. Procrastination. I know I procrastinate. There are times that I need that pressure to crank out the best papers. There are other times, however, that the procrastination hurts my productivity a lot. Once again, a flaw, yet for me it’s a productive flaw.
3. Asking For Help. This may qualify as stubborn, but I count it separately. I’m not good at asking for help. I fully admit to this because I do not like relying on other people. My fear is that the second I admit I need help and ask for it, suddenly that person I need the most will leave. This one is a flaw through and through. Unfortunately, it has cost me people who truly meant a lot.

Luci’s Flaws According to Friends.
1. Passive Aggressive. This I will not fully own up to. Some people I just get too tired to argue with. After all if they don’t get the hint the first time, why would I bother? Oh wait…does that qualify as being stubborn? Well, crud.
2. Awkward Smile. I have always loved this one because it’s so very true. I have the most awkward smile in the world, but apparently it’s endearing. Similar to how we can’t help but smile at the puppy who keeps running headfirst into walls…Actually, I’m pretty sure that sums up how most people feel about me pretty well.
3. Accent. There are keywords I pronounce in a way that drives the people around me insane. Yes, I say ‘expresso’ and not ‘espresso’. Habit. I saw ‘draw’ not ‘drawer’. I’m from New England, if we can shorten a word, we do.

Now flaws can be entertaining and aggravating. That is after all why we always look to change ourselves for the better. Unfortunately, many times people go too far in change. They don’t see some of their harmless flaws as endearing. Let’s face it. My accent is a flaw, but it’s a part of me. I can control it at times, but it always slips out. That’s pat of me. It’s part of my identity and my upbringing. It’s a flaw I like and maybe the incredibly stupid way I pronounce ‘order’ and ‘water’ is endearing to someone out there.

The trick is recognizing our flaws and sorting through them. Like I said some flaws are just who we are and we cannot, and in some cases, should not change them. The problem comes when people point out certain flaws as if they are a type of leprosy. I have the perfect, and completely infuriating, example.

Last year I was at the dermatologist, someone I hated seeing as a kid. Sensitive skin and a child’s need to scratch, left a few scars decorating my shoulders. Over the years I went through the phases all kids did where the scars doubled in number. Well, let’s say she wasn’t thrilled. She actually became angry and told me that no one would ever fall in love with me with all of my scars. They just weren’t attractive.
My first reaction was sickness. Who says that? After I calmed down and left, I just shook my head. My scars, like freckles and birthmarks, are a part of us. I like my flaws. I may not love all my scars, but they are a part of me and every one has a story. That scar on my hand? It’s from when I accidentally caught on fire (a long story for another day). The one on my arm? A battle scar from a nasty mosh-pit incident. The small one on my forehead? That one was from a sewing machine breaking and a needle bouncing off my head. Every story is different and I can laugh at them. You know what? If someone can’t accept me or love me for my scars, why would I want them to?

My point dear readers, is this. We are more than our flaws. We overcome them and sometimes we need to embrace them. I embrace my scars. They remind me of chances taken, memories made, and people who cared enough to patch me up. They don’t hold me back. They are a part of me and serve as a reminder to live my life. Make positive changes and never forget to have fun.
As I started, we all make resolutions, though sometimes we need to be realistic. So here you go:
1. Change the flaws that hinder you.
2. Resolve to take care of yourself (be health, be happy, and always laugh).
3. Resolve to hold your head high and embrace your little flaws that make you the person your friends and family love.

Keep Calm and Laugh On

Luci Farrell is a senior from New Haven, CT. She is an Organizational Communication major with a minor in Anthropology. Luci is a Resident Peer Minister on campus and chair of the Honors Program Advisory Council at Saint Xavier University.