Discovering Who You Are

By Dorothy J. Hill

Discovering Who You Are

As stated before, when you’re in college, this is a time where you begin to strengthen an understanding of yourself and your own personal strengths. It is also during this time that you experience a high level of change in your life. There may be people that you had in your circle when you began this life journey who may either remain an important part of your life or not.

I will use myself as a prime example. When you begin to make certain decisions for your life, there will be people who don’t necessarily agree or support what you’re trying to do. There were many people that I considered to be my “friend” but as I grew older, I began to notice that many of those people I considered to be my “friend” were going in a different direction than I was. Now, granted, everyone will live life following whatever path they so choose, however, when you find that you each are going in completely opposite directions, it’s best that you part ways.

Having multiple friends is way overrated. Everyone has his or her own definition of just about everything. So, here’s Merriam-Webster’s definition: “one attached to another by affection or esteem” or “a favored companion”. My definition of a friend is one who is trustworthy, a confidant, and will keep it real with you. Keep it real is considered to be a colloquialism and it just simply means being completely honest, like brutally honest. In my life (other than my mother), there is only one person that I consider to be a true friend. This person is what would be commonly known as a boyfriend. But, he is actually more than just a boyfriend and a friend. We have built a relationship over the past seven years.

I am very grateful for having such a strong relationship. It is through the development of our friendship and the strengthening of our relationship as companions, that I gained a greater understanding of what I was and am capable of doing and achieving. It has tremendously contributed to my character. Being in a relationship is like working on a two-person team. We have each other’s back and we look out for each other. It is because of my relationship with my companion of seven years that I have been such a strong individual in every other area of my life.

Sometimes in learning who you really are and stepping away from the childish, adolescent and immature ways of thinking and into a more mature, adult and responsible mindset, you realize what you need and what you don’t need. Like I said, having a lot of friends is overrated. Some people are legitimately in your life to help you and there are others who act as leeches and are only in your life to try to profit from your achievements. It’s unfortunate that people are like that, but that is the way of the world.

Keep a tight circle of friends. It’s alright to have acquaintances and such, but don’t divulge too much information to just anyone because then you are putting yourself at risk. You don’t need people to define who you are as a person. The only definition that matters is your own. People will definitely always have an opinion, but that’s all it is…opinion. Stay true to yourself, your values and your beliefs and never allow anyone to change who you are. You control your destiny and all that happens in your life. From the very moment when you awake, you are making decisions. Whether it be simply sitting up, getting out of bed, washing your face, brushing your teeth, showering, the choice of clothing for the day, etc. It’s all in your control. So, know who you are and if you don’t know who you are yet, try figuring it out. Life is a scary thing, I know, but it’s all that we have. So live it up and be the best you.

Dorothy J. Hill is a senior from Chicago, IL. She is pursuing a Bachelor of Music in Vocal Performance. Dorothy is a Student Ambassador and currently serves as the Training Coordinator at Saint Xavier.