Accepting Rejection

By Dorothy J. Hill

No one likes to be rejected. Whether it be from a friend, a loved one, a random person, etcetera, rejections just aren’t the greatest feelings. Aside from just people, being rejected from a job or school doesn’t provide the greatest feeling of content either. But, it is what happens in life and you just have to learn how to take the good with the bad.

I always like to use myself as an example, or guinea pig, when talking about a lot of things. It is because I know myself very well and who is better at picking me apart than me. So, here it was… I had made it up in my mind that I was surely going to graduate school, right after I graduate. I found what I believed to be the perfect school for me. They had exactly what I was looking for, to the “t”, but they didn’t feel that I would be a good fit for them. Now, of course, I feel that is not the case, but based upon what I provided to them, this is what they surmised.

When I received the letter, I was really on edge about opening the envelope. I already knew within this envelope and printed on this piece of paper is my destiny, for now. My fate, my life, my dreams, aspirations, goals and person had been shattered for a few moments. I read “we are sorry…” Nothing else even mattered to me after that. You already know that when you read or hear those dreadful words that something bad is about to happen. Initially, and even at this moment, I felt a strong sense of anger, with them and with myself. I just about immediately fell into a bit of a self-pity mode. I started to think, “Am I not good enough for them?” and “What did I do wrong?” among other not so nice thoughts. Then, I bounced back into reality. I thought, “Wait a minute, what am I doing here? Why am I so upset and angry? There is no need to be. I am an exceptional individual, everyone just hasn’t had the opportunity to see or experience this. You have grown so much in such a short amount of time and there is more room for you to grow. Just consider this as another lesson learned and continue to move forward.” And that is what I am doing and intend to continue to do.

Even though this particular school was my number one and really only choice, I know that this just means that there is something better in store for me. Now maybe, just maybe, this isn’t the right time for me to pursue a graduate degree. Maybe I just need to take some time off and build up my resume and funds and expand on my knowledge. Maybe this is what is supposed to be happening. Which brings me to this; I am a firm believer that everything—EVERYTHING—happens for a reason. Why? Well, we may not always know why, but there is nothing that we can do about what happens. We can try to prepare for it, but there is not enough preparation for anything in life, because the craziest things are bound to happen when you least expect it. I’ve learned that it is just better to not expect anything, because then you leave yourself open for unnecessary pain and emotions that just get in the way.

I started to dissect myself mentally and then I attempted to let everything out through ink, but that didn’t go so well for me. I tried writing out my thoughts and a list of “What do you want to do with your life?” but I was so frustrated at that moment that I was not able to articulate my thoughts. I felt almost as if my world had come crashing down on me, as if I did not have a clue about myself or my life. But again, I brought myself back into perspective.

I am well aware of my worth, value and capabilities. I have found that I am one tough cookie and that there is nothing that will ever break me. I have faced so many trials and tribulations throughout my short 22 years of living to the point that I know I can get through any and everything that comes my way. I thought that I had my plans altogether, but things change in an instant. Just because I was rejected from this particular place at this moment, doesn’t mean that there isn’t an opportunity to give it a try again. It just may be a matter of waiting until the next year or few years. Who knows? The biggest challenge faced when applying for a job, school, or just about anything, is being able to capture your life, personality, and knowledge in two to three pages. I mean, it is utterly impossible. You have to be careful of the language used and the proper grammar, etc. I am very much so capable of doing this, but it’s really hard. Plus, if your grades aren’t the most “ideal”, you’re overlooked. You might be seen and considered as an underachiever, which is an unfortunate assumption, but again, they go by what the paper says and not the individual’s personality or anything along those lines.

I wish that I would have made a better decision in how I wanted my message to be given. I wish that I were able to just talk as if I were having a conversation with someone. If it were possible, I would have started my essay like this…

“Why am I the perfect fit for you? I have passion burning in me greater than the Great Chicago Fire of 1871. I pride myself on being the best in all that I do. I am a great asset to whomever I encounter, personally and professionally and present a wonderful element of humility and humbleness, but very confident, as well as happiness. My work ethic and positive spirit alone provides a greater quality of life and enhances the quality of life of those that I work with, academically and professionally, in music and general business. It is my desire to be a world-renowned musician and be an entrepreneur where I will be able to run my own business centered on those who are less fortunate or may not have the financial means to be as successful in life as they would like. Being a person of African-American descent and subjected to a tainted societal view, I understand the necessity of something like this. However, I was fortunate enough to experience life in a way that not many others are able to. I have traveled to and performed in various places that opened my eyes to new horizons so to say. I am an ambitious, tenacious, steadfast, and strong-willed individual and there is nothing that will stop me from reaching my dreams and achieving my goals. As a student within your program, it will provide me with even more resources and opportunities for growth, the expansion and expounding on much of the knowledge I have acquired thus far. I am the embodiment of change and success with purpose. My acceptance would certainly not be in vain, it just might be one of the greatest things to take place for myself and your institution.”

This is just a snippet of what I would like to write, but I can’t. Things like this aren’t always going to be accepted. The world works a certain way and it will never change. Being rejected has not and will not deter me from doing what I need to do in life. I just consider this as a stepping stone to help me progress forward to the next new thing. I know that God has something wrapped in the palm of his hand that he’s itching for me to get to. I know my purpose in life, and though I had invested much of my mind and heart into this, I know that something better is waiting for me. I just need to be patient and wait for it. I’m going to take things one day at a time, and sometimes that is all that you can do. Graduation is just around the corner. So, breathe, regroup, recollect yourself. Get back on your square and keep it moving. This is not the end; it has just opened the door for a new and better beginning.

Dorothy J. Hill is a senior from Chicago, IL. She is pursuing a Bachelor of Music in Vocal Performance. Dorothy is a Student Ambassador and currently serves as the Training Coordinator at Saint Xavier.